You don’t need to know everything to be a brilliant birth partner: you need to know what’s happening, know what your partner wants, and be calm, present and practical. This guide covers how to prepare, how to help during labour, and how to look after both of you in the first weeks.
Before the birth
- Learn the stages of labour alongside your partner, so nothing is a surprise.
- Find out what your partner would like: positions, pain relief, who they’d like in the room, and what they’d rather avoid.
- Know your maternity unit’s phone number and the route there, and keep your phone charged.
- Help with the bag. Our hospital bag checklist has a section for you.
- Read about the stages of labour on the NHS site, which also encourages talking to your birth partner about how they can help.
In early labour
It’s often a long wait. Encourage rest, make sure there are snacks and drinks, and keep the atmosphere calm. Timing contractions and calling the maternity unit when it’s time are practical jobs that take pressure off your partner.
In established labour
- Be the voice. Your partner may not feel like talking, so know their preferences and speak up for them politely.
- Offer comfort, not commentary. Back rubs, a hand to hold, a cool flannel, helping them change position, and offering water.
- Ask, don’t guess. “What would help right now?” works better than assuming. What helps can change from one contraction to the next.
- Stay calm. Your steadiness helps more than you realise.
- Take small breaks. Eat something and drink water, so you can keep going.
After the birth
It’s common to feel a mix of relief, joy and exhaustion. Skin-to-skin contact with your baby is something you can share, and your midwife can show you how. In the first hours, the practical jobs are making sure your partner is comfortable, fed and rested, and letting people know when you’re ready.
In the first weeks at home
- Take on practical tasks: meals, shopping, washing, and handling visitors.
- Learn to do the things you can: nappies, winding, settling, and baby’s bath.
- Share the night shifts where you can, so each of you gets some sleep.
- Look after yourself too. It’s very common for partners to feel anxious or low, and if it lasts, speak to your GP.
When to get help
If your partner or baby seems unwell, trust your instincts. Contact your maternity unit or midwife, call NHS 111, or call 999 in an emergency. In labour, call the maternity unit if their waters break, they have any bleeding, the baby is moving less, or you’re worried.
Read more
Partners are fully included in our classes, with time set aside for your role during labour, in the first weeks at home and in looking after yourself.
Baby Steps GP provides antenatal education. This guide is general information, not medical advice, and doesn’t replace advice from your midwife, GP or maternity unit.